Chapter 7: You and What Army – Insurrection in Washington

We all know what happened on January 6th 2021. The day the electoral votes were being counted, the fool hulk soon to be former commander in cheat, decided that he was just gonna shoot the shit in a fun and friendly rally with thousands of foaming at the mouth Trumpists, fascists, conspiracy theorists, and other ‘-ists’. “We are gonna fight like hell”, belched the MAGA Madman.

A dark moment in our nation’s history. But also a darkly funny one.

You don’t need comedy writers…

This song however, was written in October of 2020. And conceived in September. You see, I have known these people, have had beers with them. They’ve sometimes started off as friends. Sometimes as lovers. They’re not always ‘evil’ or batshit. At least not at first. I’ve always wanted to write a satirical song addressing as many conspiracy theories as I could fit into an under 5 minute track. Some of these: the child-devouring Hillary Clinton, the COVID conspiracies, the gun fetishism etc. would be laughable if actually laughing at them wouldn’t get you kicked out of thanksgiving dinner at Uncle Rick’s.

Gettysburg, PA. Where the North and South met in bloody battle. The South was defeated. Soundly. Yet, they have pledged to rise again. Against what? Slavery? Unity? Patriotism? Common sense?

I wrote this from the point of view of Walmart Viking, Q Shaman. I wrote it from his point of view before he was even known to me, or to any of us. I was able to write it because having lived in this great country for over two decades and visited states like Washington, Texas, and even some parts of my twin home states of Maryland and Virginia, I have found a Q Shaman or two in every bar. In every town. On every talk radio show. It’s a talent I have.

The virus of anti-intellectualism has no vaccine. And no cure. (Cartoon by David Horsey)

When Uncle Joe won the election, I was of course, elated. Four more years of President Covfefe? No. But I’m not gonna lie. I expected Trump to win. The Republicans look strong. They had grassroots support. Talk radio. Joe looked weak. He had a female, half black half Indian running mate. The Dems kept looking inept, pundits kept telling us this was essentially a racist country, a sexist country. It’s not. But Joe looked weak, and Trump looked like a frog that’s just grabbed a particularly juicy fly. Right off Mike Pence’s head.

Conspiracy theorists and wackos have flocked to Washington for decades. This is not a new thing. What is new is the former President’s support and ‘love’ for them. This was taken in 2014 when I worked off Pennsylvania Avenue. I highly doubt this poor sod would try to do what the bastards on Jan. 6th 2021 did.

Frog Prince lost. Uncle Joe won. I wondered about After Vengeance. Will the album still matter? Will the songs about justice, about inequality, still resonate? After all, we ‘won’ right? Black lives will matter. Justice will prevail? The police will be reformed (I think liberals need to hire me for their marketing: they keep stepping into it with these too on the nose slogans that only serve as fuel for the right. Defund the police is dumb).

I didn’t believe it for a second.

And when January 6th happened, I took no satisfaction in going over the lyrics of You and What Army, as I channeled that mob and recorded what was one of the harder songs on the record to perform.

So many mornings I would walk to work, with my cup of coffee and see that magnificent dome in the background. Never realizing what I was about to witness in the not too distant future.

And then we saw the rioters. And we all lolled. I mean we were frightened as we did so, but these are some world class fuck-ups ladies and gentlemen are they not?

You wanna come after me? Come get me? You and what army?

Musically this is a furious punk/breakbeat song with a bit of classical Indian vocals in there for the breakdown. This was intentional. Not too far from where these self described patriots had their orgy of excess, there is an Indian restaurant I am very fond of. That’s our Washington DC: home to cuisines and cultures from around the world. Several of our fine members of Congress are known to order from that fine establishment, and many of the other excellent Thai, Ethiopian and Middle Eastern restaurants around The Capitol. The point was to highlight the obliviousness of these ‘world class intellectuals’ that attacked our Democracy in January 6th, a lot of whom didn’t even know what part of Senate or House or Capitol they were raiding, or how close they were to just getting a nice hot Chicken Korma…instead of a stale felony sandwich.

Marvel (at) The (Sc) Avengers. (AP)

Also, I like the idea of this tiny Indian woman singing her mantras of peace right in the middle of the chaos, while thousands of rampaging patriots had their collective mass delusion. Criminal spin at its finest. Or worst.

What happened on January 6th was a travesty. Why was Trump ‘allowed’ to even go on? What did they think was going to happen? It angers me. Biden was President Elect of the United States, but here was Trump fucking with us. Again. Then again, he sent these guys. One of them even wore his work ID to the insurrection…

In these dark times, you gotta be able to have a laugh.

January 6th would have been the one year anniversary of the aforementioned little lady and I. Sadly, it become something completely different.

And that’s why After Vengeance…

Next: Chapter 8 -Beaumont